This Feeling

This feeling inside

Can’t be mine

Feeling love, feeling loved

Who knew life could shine

 

Turbulent, tormented, troubled past

Darkness and coldness inside

Filled up my heart

Too much pain to abide

 

Suffering seemed normal

The pain, an old friend

Living in darkness

Seemed to have no end

 

But my heart broken open

Spilled out the pain

The words filled the page

That’s how I stayed sane

 

Anguish was my muse

Filled with disdain

Suicidal, homicidal

Drowning in pain

 

Happiness bubbling up

Was the end of the line

No inspiration to be found

Either earthly or divine

 

That’s what I thought

That’s how I lived

Abandoning my craft

The words now contrived

 

Until this very moment

Floodgates broke open

Creativity survives

My arts not broken

 

The love that I feel

The love that I give

The man that I have

The life that we live

 

The pain still survives

In memories, in other ways

New pain but not from him

New challenges, different days

 

Through it all, he’s been there

A life raft, a hand to hold

Buoying me up, buoying my on

Making my dreams his own

 

A port in the storm

A safe place to land

From the darkness

He offered his hand

 

Trusting him

Completely, totally

With all that I am

Utterly, hopelessly

 

Loving him was easy

Natural as taking a breath

Yes, I do

Until death

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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