Category Archives: parenting

circumcision, parenting

Are There Benefits to Routine Infant Circumcision?

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Circumcision rates in the U.S. are falling as more parents find that the risks outweigh any potential benefits. A closer look at the purported benefits of circumcision. Here are the most commonly given reasons for circumcising baby boys.

Hygiene

According to many sources, it’s easier to keep clean. Really? The vulva would be easier to keep clean without the labia but we don’t amputate that. Well, some cultures do and that is one of the reasons they give. Why do we cringe in horror at the thought of doing that to our daughters but not our sons?  Not to mention that the foreskin is a self cleaning organ and circumcision actually removes this function from the penis. http://www.circumstitions.com/Care.html

Urinary Tract Infections

Circumcision lowers the rates of urinary tract infections. Okay. But urinary tract infections are easily treated with antibiotics. Removing the lungs would prevent respiratory infections but that doesn’t seem like a good idea.

HIV

Circumcision is often touted as a way to decrease the risk of HIV. However, even those reports still caution that circumcision by itself isn’t enough and that there is still a need for a condom. So why not just use a condom and skip the circumcision?

Phimosis

Circumcision is sometimes necessary for boys or men who have Phimosis, so the logic is to preemptively circumcise. This falls a little flat when we look at the facts. It is difficult to find actual rates, there is very little research out there on Phimosis. The rate seems to be from 1 to 10 percent, depending on who you ask.

http://voices.yahoo.com/uncircumsized-penile-adhesion-information-advice-10989162.html

http://www.male-initiation.net/statistics.html.

It should be noted that the rates fall with age, as the prepuce separates on its own, the phimosis resolving  itself.  Only 1 percent of men still have it at age 17. Of that one percent, most responds to conservative treatment (not circumcision). http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/442617-overview.

It’s important to remember that the prepuce is not supposed to retract in infants. Being fused is normal at birth, it gradually loosens on its own by about age 13.

Penile Cancer Risk Decreased

Penile cancer is rare in the first place. While circumcision may decrease the risk, is it really worth the amputation of an organ to slightly decrease an already low risk? We would not consider that logical for any other organ. Remove the cervix to prevent cervical cancer? Remove the stomach to prevent stomach cancer?

So He’ll Look the Same

The other reason frequently give is the old locker room/look like dad argument. Seriously? With the risks associated with it and the minimal benefits to be had, this is the lamest and flimsiest excuse to date.

circumcision, parenting

Are Circumcision Rates Falling?

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Circumcision rates are falling.

A previously posted article on circumcision rates seems to have stirred up a bit of a controversy, so I thought I would revisit it here.

What is in question is if newborn circumcision rates in the U.S. fell to 33% in 2009 or not. There is evidence that hospital circumcisions of newborns did indeed fall that low. The original study that claimed 33% was presented in Vienna http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/809763. Here is a slide from that presentation: http://www.flickr.com/photos/intactivist/5323491644/

The CDC has stated that this study was used to track complication rates and not to track circumcision rates. Fair enough.

Exactly how much circumcision rates have fallen in the U.S. may be a topic of debate. What it not in question is that rates are, in fact, falling.  They are falling faster in some areas than others and though the rates in any given year may fluctuate up or down, the overall picture from 1979 to 2010 is a decline. http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/hestat/circumcision_2013/circumcision_2013.htm#fig1

The important point is, rates are falling, as they should be.  More and more parents are educating themselves on this unnecessary cosmetic procedure and declining circumcision.

What are the risks and benefits to circumcision? Why does anyone choose to circumcise their child? First, you have to understand that this is a cultural issue. For some, it is a religious issue, but for many Americans, it’s just what we’ve always done and they look no further than that.

To get an idea of how cultural ideas about circumcision change, consider the history of female circumcision: http://www.mtholyoke.edu/~mcbri20s/classweb/worldpolitics/page1.html

When we think of female circumcision (aka female genital mutilation) we react with horror and disbelief that anyone could do such a thing to a child they claim to love. However, when the belief is deeply embedded in the culture, they do it precisely because they love that child. They truly believe that she will be unclean, unable to attract a husband etc. And it’s what they have always done. I would like to think that in a modern country like America we can rise about the “but it’s always been that way” mentality and take an objective look at the facts.

Consider also, rates in other countries: http://www.photius.com/rankings/circumcised_men_country_ranks.html

Male circumcision is by no means a universal practice and there are more men worldwide that are intact than have been cut yet no epidemic of penile health problems associated with these populations. So again, why have your child circumcised?

One reason circumcision became so prevalent was to prevent masturbation (that seems a little extreme): http://www.huffingtonpost.com/ali-a-rizvi/male-circumcision-and-the_b_249728.html

One reason for the fluctuation in rates may be the AAP, which has revised their official position back and forth several times over the last few decades. Their current position is supportive of the practice: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/130/3/585

However, the rest of the worldwide medical community disagrees and a report in their own publication calls the policy out for reflecting cultural bias: http://pediatrics.aappublications.org/content/early/2013/03/12/peds.2012-2896

Each parent must educate themselves on the risks and benefits and make an informed decision for their child.

child development, parenting

Military Service Affects Attachment Process

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Military life involves sacrifice. Physical sacrifice of course, the giving up of creature comforts is obvious when soldiers are out in the field. But there are also sacrifices made of their family life.

Even before birth a baby is bonding and attaching to primary caregivers. At about the third month of life inside the womb, an infant develops their sense of sound. About midway through a pregnancy, parents can feel their child’s reaction to noises. Even before birth, a baby will startle (jump) at a loud noise. A baby may calm and sleep in response to mellow music.

By the time a baby is born, he or she shows a distinct preference to familiar voices. Try having mom or dad talk on side of the baby and a nurse or other unfamiliar person on the other. The baby will turn toward the familiar voice. This is all part of the bonding and attachment process.

When dad is deployed during pregnancy and the early weeks or months of a baby’s life, he misses out on some of these bonding opportunities. Families can keep dad present by playing videos or voice recordings of his voice to the baby so that his voice remains a familiar one.

With older children when mom or dad is away, pictures of the absent parent can be laminated for the child to carry with them at all times. Frequent phone calls, emails, and with today’s technology, even video conferencing help keep that parent’s presences alive for the child. Teachers, family members and caregivers should speak of the absent parent frequently and answer the child’s questions appropriately.

Pictures, cards, letters, email and phone calls will help keep the parent and child connected to each other and help ease the separation and make reunion go easier and more smoothly.

There are meet up groups for military spouses, fiancés and significant others. Meeting with others who are going through the same issues can be beneficial to many people.

For civilians wishing to help out, there is also a Deployed Soldiers Family Foundation Charity to help soldiers and their families by providing things such as wellness weekends, financial help for times of crisis and help with Christmas for military families in need.

education, homeschooling, parenting, unschooling

Does Your Child Need Preschool?

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Does your child need preschool?

Many parents want to know, does my child need preschool? In a word, no.

There is a trend in this country toward more and more structured education. More doesn’t equal better and more of the same doesn’t fix problems. In generations past, a sixth to eight grade education was the norm. Then came high school. Once having an associate’s degree advanced you quite well just as once a high school diploma ensured success. By the 1970’s it was a four year degree you needed post high school, and now we are hearing that if you truly want to succeed, you need six years post high school, a masters degree.

School keeps getting moved earlier too. First grade use to be just that, first. Somewhere along the way kindergarten was needed to ensure success in first grade. Then preschool came along to help you succeed in kindergarten. Now many public schools have three year old programs.  Where will it end?

The irony of all this is that the advent of earlier and earlier structured education flies In the face of all the research. Research dating back to the fifties as well as the most current research, which all states that children do not learn through structured education at such an early age. Children learn best through unstructured play.

Think back to your own childhood. Do it now, lean back, close your eyes and think for a few minutes through your childhood memories. What are your favorite memories, the ones that make you happy? When groups of adults are asked this question, the answer are consistently memoires that have to do with outside play, friends, imaginative play, family trips etc. None of them have to do with workbooks, watching tv or even with adult led play.

Certainly a young child can be made to memorize and repeat the memorized material back, but that is not true learning. Children who start structured education earlier show gains initially over peers, but after the first few years, generally score BEHIND children who did not. Many of the countries that beat us on test scores for school children, do not even start structured education until age seven.

From Maria Montessori and Friedrich Froebel to Dr. Spock, the experts agree that what your child needs to learn and thrive is play.

In the fifties employee’s were given IQ tests and promotions were based on those. The results were not good. Turns out IQ in no way predicts leadership skills or success. What does? EQ has been found to be the best predictor of success. EQ stand for emotional quotient and emotional intelligence, as it’s called, is what is required to succeed. So throw the workbooks and flash cards out and teach your toddlers how to label their emotions and let them learn to explore and play. Give them a secure, safe, supportive environment full of love and watch them flourish!

child development, circumcision, parenting

Circumcision Rates Fall to 33 Percent

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ImageAccording to the CDC rates of circumcision performed on newborn males in the U.S. declined sharply from 56 percent in 2006 to just 33 percent in 2009. The decision to circumcise a newborn so that he will fit in with peers in the locker room is no longer valid.

Circumcision in the U.S. has been a controversial and hot button topic for years. Circumcision rates in 1970 were almost 90 percent. The credit for this incredible decline might be due to the ever increasing number of parents who are educating themselves about this unnecessary cosmetic procedure before making a choice.

No national health organization in the world recommends circumcision for healthy male infants, not the American Academy of Pediatrics nor the American Medical Association. Nearly all European males are intact, with no epidemic of penile health problems, thus discrediting the American held belief that circumcision is healthy.

Another myth is that circumcision removes just a little flap of skin. The truth is that roughly 15 square inches of tissue is removed, amounting to anywhere from one-third to one-half of the skin covering a normal penis. Removed with this tissue are 240 feet of nerves and up to 20,000 nerve endings.

Activists spreading the word about circumcision call themselves intactivists. Their argument is that an intact penis is the default and natural condition. Don’t fix it if it ain’t broken. Risks and side effects can include hemorrhage and even death. The foreskin that is removed actually has a function. In fact, it has many functions. Read about them here.

Another argument against routine newborn circumcision is consent. An infant can’t give it. It’s his body; he should make the decision when he’s older. Some circumcised men have even opted for foreskin restoration.

Many organizations have come out against routine infant circumcision. Just a few of which are: Doctors Opposing Circumcision, Mothers Against Circumcision and even Jews Against Circumcision.

More information can be found at cicumcision.org, cirp.org and nocirc.org.

Added on 1/2/14: As it seems I have stirred up a bit of a controversy, are circumcision rates actually falling? I have added a follow up to this post here and are there any benefits to it? Here’s the answer to that. 

child development, parenting

Is Your Child Tongue Tied?

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Ankloglossia, commonly known as tongue tied, is when the frenulum (the little piece of skin that connects your tongue to the bottom of your mouth) is too short. While it’s not wildly common, it’s not an uncommon childhood occurrence either. Ankloglossia is usually caught in the first few years of life.

Clipping it is called a frenulectomy and is very quick, outpatient procedure performed by an ENT. This procedure would only need to be done if the frenulum is short enough to be causing problems.

If it’s really short it can interfere not only with speech but with eating (because the tongue is used to move food around in the mouth). Another professional to consult on the subject would be a speech therapist; a speech therapist can tell if the tongue tie is affecting the ability to speak. The tongue moves around quite a bit in order to speak. Think about how to produce the “L” sound if the tongue can’t reach the roof of the mouth.

If parents suspect their child has a short frenulum, then the sooner they get to an ENT, the better. The longer it takes to address this issue, the more therapy the child will need because he or she is learning wrong ways of articulating.

A simple test to have the child stick his or her tongue out and attempt to move it up and down and from side to side as far as it will go.

The Early Childhood Intervention program of LifePath Systems provides free developmental assessments to children between birth and age 3 in Collin County. Be sure to let them know the issue when referring so that they can send out the appropriate professionals.

Here is a video sample of a tongue protrustion test, get your child to stick his tongue out and move it up, down and to each side. If verbal instructions don’t suffice, try putting some powdered candy on the outside of the mouth and have him lick it off.

moms of many, organization, parenting

Juggle, Juggle

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I get asked a lot how I juggle everything. Sometimes I give a flip answer, like, I’m just ADHD and what most people call relaxing, I call having nothing to do and being bored! But today while I was juggling exceptionally well, it occurred to me that I do have some actual valid tips to offer, so here’s one of them:

Clean/organize the room you are in at the moment.

What am I talking about, exactly? I mean, often it feels like I never accomplish anything because I am jumping back and forth between this child’s needs and that child’s needs constantly. Thats a true and valid point. What I have learned over the years is that, when there’s so much to do that you have no idea where to start, you simply start where your kids are and follow them around.

For example, my six year old needed a bath and hair wash. He can wash himself, but needs help with his hair. So I washed his hair, turned him loose to bathe himself and popped his little sister in with him. She needed no bath because she had her bath and hair the night before, but having her to play with ensured they’d both be busy and occupied long enough for me to clean up the bathroom, since that’s where we were at. I also had time to run the dirty laundry from the bathroom to the washer right after they got out of the tub.

After bath we went into the kitchen where the two little ones wanted to eat, so I made them both a quick lunch. While they were otherwise distracted, I was able to clean up the kitchen, wash the dishes and wipe down counters. When they ran off to the living room to play I was able to pop the laundry in the dryer, clean up the highchair and pop a frozen lasagne in to feed the older kids and myself.

Right now I’m able to write this blog post because my six year old had to poop and he is afraid to stay in the bathroom alone, so here I sit, using time that would otherwise be spent staring at the wall doing something productive (well, that may be a matter of opinion!).

After this if over, I’ll feed the older kids, get the baby down for a nap (I’ll catch up on my reading while nursing her) then get around to feeding myself. While eating I will manage to do something else at the same time, even if it’s just catching up on General Hospital episodes on my DVR.

I’m sure I am by far not the first woman in the world to discover this method, but some reason I felt compelled to share it today. I guess for it to work you have to be ok with jumping from activity to activity even if you haven’t finished (the dishes and counters are cleaned but the kitchen floor still needs sweeping, but that will have to be done later). I’m ok with that, but maybe we are back to me being ADHD.

Oh look, a squirrel!

breastfeeding, parenting

Breastfeeding in Public

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Oh no, run for the hills, she’s gonna talk about boobs! Seriously, I do not understand our national discomfort, disdain and downright hostility towards breastfeeding and breastfeeding mothers. One of myFacebook friends posted a link to a blog where a mother posted her thoughts about breastfeeding, along with (gasp) pictures!

And now while I realize that a blog is posted publicly, you still don’t have to read it if you don’t want to. Seriously, if breastfeeding is so offensive to someone, then just avoid it I guess. But I truly don’t get it.

Breastfeeding is the best thing you can do to feed your baby. It is the most nutritious thing to give a baby, it is full of antibodies to help them stay well and healthy, it promotes the best oral motor development as well as developing the part of the brain that tells us when we are full/hungry. One could make the argument that a primary cause of overeating is being forced to finish the bottle or clean the plate when full or denied food when hungry due to some arbitrary schedule, we train babies not to trust themselves to know when to eat or not eat. And then there is bonding and attachment and comfort that all come from the breastfeeding bond. Where, in all of this, is there something wrong or bad to find?

Yet people find it. The evil, horrible dark side to breastfeeding (according the American public in general) is that someone might see a glimpse of a breast! Shocking I know. Forget that fact that every bathing suit at the beach or the pool, half the advertisements that you see and even just the day to day fashions that are in style now ALL show more breast than you generally can see during a feeding session. Somehow people are horrified, offended and outraged at the sight of a breastfeeding mother because a man or a child might see some breast. My response to that is pretty much, so what? If a child sees a mother breastfeeding her baby, what idea might they get? That breasts are for feeding babies?

There is truly nothing sexual about feeding babies and the only reason I can find that people get so uncomfortable about it, that they find it so offensive, is that, in their minds, they link the breast to sex and only sex. And that is their issue, not the issue of the infant or the mother. Why should mothers and babies be held hostage to someone elses misguided and wrongheaded thinking? Why should mothers be forced to hide what they doing, like it’s some dirty secret? Why should babies be deprived of something that is so good for them, to make some grown adult who should know better, more comfortable?

Babies are innocent, helpless and unable to add their voices to the debate and as seems to always be the case, the weak get run over by the strong. Might makes right. Babies have no voice and mothers can often be bullied and harassed into complying with what’ s “socially acceptable” at the expense of what is biologically appropriate for their child. Not all mothers can overcome such strong persecution and hostility. They need support, information, education and the knowledge that they are not the only ones.

Which brings me to the other upside of breastfeeding in public: letting the world see that this is normal, making it become a commonplace sight. Bringing widespread acceptance to it requires visibility and requires making some people uncomfortable. We all have times when we have to confront things that make us uncomfortable and question ourselves about WHY it makes it feel that way and hopefully be able to see all sides of the situation and overcome our own prejudices.

ADHD, Behavior, parenting

ADHD and So What?

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My six year old is ridiculously loud! He screams at top volume for no apparent reason. His sister locked him out of her room last night for that exact reason. I’m on the other end of the house and it’s too loud for me!

He is my loud, active, rebellious, overly sensitive, always on the go child. My oldest was like this, but he is even more so. It’s like he needs noise and movement to focus, to think, to concentrate and maybe he does. I have often thought that, were I to pursue it, I could easily get a diagnosis of ADHD for him. Yet I don’t pursue it, top of his lungs screaming, constant messes and all, I don’t. Why not?

Well, I have no desire to put him on the medication, that’s why and unfortunately, that’s about as far as traditional medical treatment goes. Here are your pills, goodbye. I happen to know that there are other ways of helping him that won’t put his health and life at risk. I don’t think most people realize that those ADHD drugs are often not approved by the FDA for what they are being used for and even when they are, come with a long list of side effects. No thank you, we won’t be having any.

First of all, I’ve done this and my oldest turned out fine. Sure, he still has some sensory issues to this day, but he graduated high school with honors and has held down a job for the last year quite admirably. Second, he’s not the only one. Thomas Edison was kicked out of multiple schools and his mother was told he was unteachable and stupid. Yep, Thomas Edison (now believed to have had ADHD).

I’m not saying that the drugs are never useful, I know people who swear by them and I am not judging their decision. I just hate it when people judge mine. Sure, my kid can be annoying and loud and obnoxious and make a ridiculous mess. But he is also incredibly smart, creative, original, loving, caring, sweet etc. I have no desire to mute any of his qualities. They are ALL what makes him, him. Special and unique. So we take the loud messy child in constant motion because it comes hand in hand with his brilliant, creative joyous self.

We just don’t go out in public much.